Peak
80
Weeks
1
Score
67
Chart Year
2022
This piano ballad finds Tate McRae wanting to make some changes to her life as she reaches her late teenage years. She'd like to cut her friends off as they've got nothing in common, she but fears being lonely. McRae is also missing her ex, and the heartbreak she feels after her split makes her cautious about another relationship. However, the Canadian singer acknowledges she will love again and is blowing things out of proportion. During the pre-chorus and chorus we learn McRae is talking to somebody who'd noticed she's going through a confusing time. She vents her frustrations, telling the person that growing up is chaotic and she didn't realize "changing would be this exhausting." McRae wrote the song with: Her regular songwriting partner Victoria Zaro ("You Broke Me First," "Feel Like S--t"). The song's producer Greg Kurstin. The American hitmaker also produced her previous single, "She's All I Wanna Be." McRae released "Chaotic" on March 25, 2022 as the third single off of her debut album, following "Feel Like S--t" and "She's All I Wanna Be." She said "Chaotic" was "literally such a hard song write" and that it's probably the saddest song on the album. McCrae first teased "Chaotic" in February 2022 when she shared a snippet of the song on her TikTok. It sparked a trend where users posted videos of themselves crying in private while maintaining an outwardly happy face publicly, to correspond with the lyrics, "You said it looks like I've been going through hell. How did you know, how could you tell?" McRae penned "Chaotic" at Greg Kurstin's studio. She'd been writing with plenty of people but wasn't getting any songs she connected with. McRae attributes this to all the changes going on in her life, having recently graduated high school and moved to LA from Calgary. The teenage singer had yet to settle into her own skin and work out who she was. McRae wrote the song quietly on her computer. She told Apple Music: "I feel like this was one of the first times that I sat down in a session and I was like, 'Okay, I need to really talk about where my mental state is at right now, because I don't know if it's looking too good.'" An hour later, McRae had finished the tune. She walked across the studio, gave Kurstin a high five, and left.
I have this paralyzing fear that I'll maybe go nowhere But God forbid me ever admitting I could be scared And I can't stand my friends right now, we got nothing in common But being lonely's worse than just having friends that don't care You said it looks like I've been going through hell How did you know? How could you tell? Ask me to explain myself, well I'm trying my best here to be brutally honest Nobody said changing would be this exhausting A foot on the brake 'cause it's been making me carsick How could you blame me? Growing up is chaotic Don't wanna say it but I really think that I miss him It might seem stupid but I still look through all of our texts Who knew that wanting someone could ever make me this desperate? Don't think I'll do that again, no You said it looks like I've been going through hell How did you know? How could you tell? You ask me to explain myself, well I'm trying my best here to be brutally honest Nobody said changing would be this exhausting A foot on the brake 'cause it's been making me carsick How could you blame me? Growing up is chaotic (ah) And maybe I'm just blowing all this shit up in my head But I can't help it, no, I can't help it (ah) Fooling myself thinking that I'll never love again Goddamn, I felt it, I really felt it (ah) Maybe I'm just blowing all this shit up in my head But I can't help it, no, I can't help it (ah) Spending too much time on things I know that I'll forget But damn, I felt it I'm trying my best here to be brutally honest Nobody said changing could be this exhausting Foot on the brake 'cause it's making me carsick How could you blame me?
| Week | Chart Date | Position | Points |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Apr 9, 2022 | 80 | 46 |